"The Genesic Calibur" um trabalho meu de Inglês

Boas pessoal. Eu postar um texto que tinha escrito para um trabalho de Ingles que consistia em escrever uma história para adolescentes. Neste trabalho consegui um 12 e estive hoje a acabar de passa-lo a PC com umas correcções. O problema é que agora tenho de escrever um excerto com 100/150 palavras para, em especial com um discurso, dia 13 tenho de contar a história á turma, só que no caso da minha short story, além de ter o tamanho de duas folhas de teste (ficando para ai duas folhas e meias, ou três do Word), parecendo que a história ficaria bem contada se fosse lida e contada a CEM porcento. Vou posta-la no fórum, não só para meter mais um trabalho escrito meu, sendo o primeiro em Inglês, como também para quem ler me possa aconselhar na parte em que poderei utilizar para a apresentação oral (a parte de contar a historia. Eis a short:

Citação :

The Genesic Calibur.

In the times of myth and legend, there existed a legendary sword hidden in the High Mountains of Diamond Hill in the Northern Lights country. Legends said that God used this sword when creating the Universe by cutting it to form what we call galaxies.

Knowing that one day a great darkness would rise, God sealed the sword at Diamond Hill so that one day, a brave and pure hearted hero would save all existence.

Knowing this legend, Young Seth Strife searched for the legendary sword. He climbed the highest Mountain of Diamond Hill for days, finally reaching the top.

Sixteen years old Seth was exhausted. He had his hands full of scratches do to the climbing, and, he felt his mind and his body numbed do to the air density of the Mountain. He was wearing a long gray cape, with a cloak that covered his face. He removed the cloak, reviling his brown hair that was covered in sweat do to the long effort of climbing. He had bandages in his forehead, arms and torso, showing that he suffered from past injuries.

Even exhausted, his brown eyes could see the wanted prize. He contemplated a long sword, similar to a Scottish Claymore, with a golden hilt, covered with some source of emerald strings. The sword was locked by a variety of silver chains. Seth breathing a sigh of relief said “The Genesic Calibur. Finally I found it.”

With his remaining strength, Seth reached the sword, but as soon he touched it he heard a mix of a gentle feminine voice with an aggressive male voice, that screamed “Who dares to robe the Genesic Calibur?!”

The sword got covered in a circular force circular force field of golden light that surprised Seth. The energy field enlarged and projected Seth to the ground. The enormous stream of light gained a human form. This light man started to speak with two voices at the same time “I´m the guardian of the Genesic Calibur. Those who desire the Genesic Calibur´s power for selfish reasons may live no more!”

Seth slowly got to his feet. With a tired full and painful look on his face, he faced the Guardian of the sword when he said “I climbed the Mountain for days for that sword! I won´t give up off it that easy!”

“Go home boy while you can!” Screamed the golden being of light with It´s double voice. He pointed his right hand at Seth and pushed him with an invisible energy similar to telekinesis. Do to his fatigue and the strong psychic force of the Guardian, Seth was almost pushed out off the Mountain. With a great effort and willpower, he didn´t fell out off the Mountain.
“Go home boy!” said once again the Guardian. “If you continue to struggle more, you will jump off the Mountain and die!”

“No!” Screamed Seth with all the courage and determination in his heart. “I came here for that sword and I won´t leave this mountain without it!”

“And so, you shall die!” Screamed the Guardian furiously. He used once again his telekinetic burst, attacking more, and more, destroying Seth´s grey cape. The young man was bleeding and felt his ribs getting broken and bones snapping.
Surprised by Seth´s willpower, the Guardian asked him, “Why do you still struggle boy aren’t you afraid of death?”

Seth with a smirk on his bloody face, answered “I´m afraid of losing another person´s life. If I give up on the sword, I will not save her ...”

Shaking with fear and anxiety, at the mean time, covered in tears, Seth screamed “If I can´t acquire the Genesic calibur, Caska will die!”

The Guardian looked at Seth with surprise. Wanting to kill his curiosity, the Guardian asked Seth “Who is this Caska?”

“Caska is a very important person to me.” Said Seth. “When I lost my family, I´ve become a lone wolf with nothing no one that cared about me. I used to be a street fighter and once, when I was bloody and beaten, I roamed alone, without someone that could take care of me and my injuries, but then, like an angel from heaven, she appeared and took care of me! Since that day, we became very close and I vowed to protect her, but then ..”

Seth´s voice got full of anger when he continued with his story “Since Caska is a person with a divine heritage, the wizard Akutai, known for having demonic powers, attacked our village, killing everyone that opposed his search for Caska, who´s sacrifice permitted him to call the great Devil. I fought him but I lost, and I ended up full um injuries. Before I could take the final blow, to save my life, Caska offered her life for my life. The wizard took her to his castle, where in the next full moon night, he will perform the sacrificial ritual. Before the evasion, Caska told me about the Genesic Calibur, giving me the hope to save her before the sacrificial day! If it was needed, I would reclaim that sword from hell! I won´t give up or die until Caska is rescued!”

The Guardian opened his mouth with surprise and then, he bursted in laughter. Surprised, Seth asked him “What´s so funny?”

“Everyone that desired the Genesic Calibur always wants it for glory and conquest, but this is the first time someone came here for something like love.” The Guardian answered. Set screamed “Do you think my objectives and my resolve are a joke?”

“No, sorry.” Said the Guardian. “If your purpose is unselfish, you may grab the sword.”

“What?” Said a surprised Seth. The Guardian disappeared and the silver chains evaporate. Seth grabbed the swords hilt and got covered by a multi colourful aura. He felt an incredible strength entering his body.

“My God!” Said Seth, astonished by the energy in his body. “I feel that I could lift mountains and move faster than a shooting star!”

Not only was he stronger, but his injuries disappeared. He searched a giant rock and with a strong blow of the sword, he cut it in two.

“I´ve done it!” he said with joy. “Wait for me Caska!”
Seth listens to the Guardians voice in his mind, saying “Focus on the place you want to go and the sword may cut reality, opening a door to where you want to go.”

Seth did it and created a wormhole that would take him to Caska and Akutai.